• Frustration!

    So apparently three amazing supportive people who made the long and treacherous journey to Langley to buy my book were unsuccessful as the books still haven't been sku'd (or whatever) yet... argh! Colour me frustrated.

    And I am not by nature a pitchman. So do I call the store again? Do I send and email? Do I walk all the way there, looking bedraggled and desperately demand to know what's going on?


    I feel like I must apologize to them all with an offering of brownies or some sort of baked repentance.

  • A Case of Flagrant Self-Promotion

    Hey everyone who ends up here! (Thanks btw...)

    As promised, here is the info relating to all things under the umbrella "Elisa's Book(s)"

    #1- At the Chapters in Langley off 200th street you can find copies of my novel "The Perpetually Single Gal" by H.E. Rae. Let me answer your burning questions--> no, it is not an autobiography and yes, it is my book, I just wrote it under the alias H.E. Rae. (Mystery prize for the first person who figures out what's up with the alias/ the secret meaning.)I would compare my book to Sophie Kinsella's novels, but with a conservative Canadian girl's style.

    #2- That novel (and others I've written, including the sequel) is available to order from or the self-publishing website EBook versions are avaialable on iTunes.

    #3- A brief summary of the plot of "The Perpetually Single Gal" by H.E. Rae:

    Shanny Hardy never thought she would be one of ‘those girls.’ The ones who have no career, no boyfriend, no degree, no dog. At twenty-eight, the only things she does have are a lingering student debt, an unconscious lust for her friend Conrad, and a regular Sunday interrogation/dinner at home with her ‘helpful’ family, full of suggestions.
    After her disastrous job interview with a far too handsome man, she hits a low point. There are no foreseeable changes until one afternoon, looking the wrong way in the parking lot of the chain supermarket where she works, Shanny is hit by a car.
    She spends the next week in the hospital coping with scratches, bruises, broken ribs, a broken foot, and her even more helpful family. A spark of hope appears when Shanny’s blood work reveals that she is a bone marrow match for a critical condition patient in the same hospital. This is her moment to give something of herself and to finally follow through. But is she ready for the consequences?

    #4- The cheapest way for you to get my book is the ebook option but (if I can be shamelessly self-promoting:`() if you can, and would like to, please pick it up from Chapters. My contract lasts for two months and will be renewed and extended to other stores only depending on the quantity of sales.
    The book can be found in the Local Interest Section near the magazines.

    #5- Of course, if anyone wants, I will sign anything that you like. I will even write you a personal note that any character of your choice is actually based on you.

    #6- last point! I will accept any type of feedback but I do have overly-sensitive artsy feelings (imagine any of those art kids in high school with dreams of drawing anime characters and I exist on a similar emotional plane) so, if you have any bad feedback that you feel you must share with me, please at least fo it in a creative/amusing way so that I can blame my tears on the laughter.

    Thanks everyone!!I (I know this isn't really a big deal, but it's one of my dreams so I am engaging in spontaneous fist pumping. One of my other dreams if to have Tom Hiddleston recite Shakespeare to me but a girl has to have priorities.)

    If you want to leave any comments on my blog, that would be wicked. Or tweet me! My twitter is @Elisa_McRae.

    (Give yourself a pat on the back for reading all this nonsense!)

  • What's in a name? (I just coined that.)

    After weeks of internal debate and mockery from friends and family, I came to a decision to name my dog Huxley. (Really, his name is Sir Huxley Pony Boy.) Why is there so much difficulty in finalizing an animal's name? What will I ever do if I'm responsible for naming a human being??

  • Heavenly Youtube

    I wish that there was a way to tap into Heaven's Youtube channel. The first video I would watch would definitely be footage of my epic fall this afternoon at my sister's house. I landed and laughed. Now the bruises have set in and I would like to know that the fall was ridiculous enough to have truly earned such war wounds.

    What other things would I start watching after today's bail? Hmmm... there are moments I'd like to watch for sure: skydiving, winning at jeopardy, hearing a scandalous secret, hearing really good news.

    On the other side of things, there are moments I wouldn't want to watch- that is, I say I wouldn't want to watch them but the car wrecks of life are usually a more irresistable draw than the sunsets and picnics.

    As I am now turning my thoughts to sleep, I also think that I would love a Dream Youtube channel. Imagine if you could call up and consciously watch your dreams...

  • Overused and Underused

    Just a quick thought for today:
    When words are overused they lose their meanings to vaguery. (ex- Bullied, Respect)
    When words are underused they keep their meanings intact and precise. (ex- Intrigue, Fester)

    I'm sure there must be something clever to say about words that are simply used (neither over nor under)but I can't think of anything just now.

    Is this a result of recently going blonde?


  • Parental Advisory Warning

    Last night, what shocked me most at "Life of Pi" was not that the movie lived up to the book. It wasn't that the movie made me more emotional than the book, or that I actually liked the 3D. No, what shocked me was the number of people who brought little kids (5 years old and up) to the movie. Does any thinking person look at the premise, a boy trapped on a lifeboat with a tiger, and think, 'this is prime family entertainment'?

    Parents of the world, do some research! Or at least take the parental advisory to heart. Even if your children are not traumatized by (warning- vague spoilers ahead) a tiger dragging off a goat carcass or a hyena killing an orangutan named Orange Juice, or a boy describing his mother being killed by a French chef, this is still not the movie for them.

    I was, admittedly, a nerd when I was a kid. (I am still a nerd, according to some.) But, back then, though I read mature books with sophisticated vocabulary and ever-expanding page numbers, themes and questions about life flew over my head more often than not. And this is exactly what that movie is about. Life. Questions about life. And Pi, which is an infinite number (thus far). Essentially, there are infinite questions about life and there are always more than one version of events to consider.

    So what, right? Even if a kid doesn't philosophize, they can enjoy the movie as an adventure story. Right? Sure. At home. Don't bring them to the theatre where conscientious audience members worry about the kids in the audience even if their parents don't.(Also, little voices giggling when an animal pees to mark its territory really doesn't add much to the atmosphere created by the film.)

    Well, that was quite the rant. (This experience seems to have brought out my inner Rick Mercer.)
    My apologies.

    But then again, maybe there were no children at the movie. Maybe instead of being occupied by children, the seats were taken up by a chimp with only one ear, three parrots, an oryx, and a timberwolf...

    You choose which version you like best.

    Back to the real world tomorrow...

  • Sisterhood in the year 2012 means...

    -giving your sister a memorized brownie recipe over the phone.

    -spending the morning in the church gym decorating cupcakes and harassing the elderly (but only those who can stand it.)

    -having a friend who will be the Diana to your Anne Shirley even if that means staging a cupcake-induced death scene.

    -remembering that there are no substitutes for real, non-cookie cutter friends who don't need to be insulted by you to know that you care.

    -reading fbook comments that inspire you rather than announcements about what kind of food they're making for dinner.

    Is it clear that I love all my sistas? I am a sap. But I am a lucky sap.

  • Computer Genius

    Simply spending half of my life on a computer does not mean I actually know anything about them. Don't bother trying to explain that to my parents. I have just returned from an epic battle I shall call "Elisa versus the Epson Business Printer/Fax/All-in-one Series 456-876."
    (**I have changed some details petaining to the machine for its own safety.)

    I'm not entirely sure who won. Granted, at the end of the hour-long fisticuffs, I was able to print in black and white and in colour, but that machine literally came to life! Blinking lights. Questions. Commands where I had to press the Okay button ten times before it would do what I wanted. Maybe it won? Maybe the machines will always win.

    Or maybe it's really those few, those happy few, who are on the verge of being elderly, who will always win.

    They buy these electronic "tools" and enslave the younger generation, forcing young free-spirited people to spend their Friday nights hooking up USS plugs and re-installing software. And then... it gets worse. Anytime something goes wrong with the thing they have a reason to call and insist you come over and help with is because you set it up and you know EVERYTHING about computers because you are young and so you must be a computer genius.

    Out! (If I knew how to write that in binary code, I would.)

  • The Scariest Teenage Girl

    The scariest teenage girl is not the one behind the wheel of a car or the one with a clique of followers armed with cell phones and facebook. No. The scariest teenage girl is the one playing a volleyball playoff game and misses her serve.

    It is a miracle anyone left that gym alive. Tonight I am grateful for my safety.

    Just sayin'.

  • The insanity of personal banking

    Say you engage in the modern act of online banking. Say that while engaged in this private act, you have the ability to send a business question wherein you ask to cancel a service. Say this request in answered/ignored via a chain email response.

    Next step:

    You go into the bank. You ask them to cancel the service there. You are told they can't do that for you and if you bank online you can take care of it that way.

    Next step:

    profanity (well, Mormon profanity) and counting the new grey hairs.

    I suppose I'll have to try calling a 1-800 number. That is always productive.
    Is it a coincidence that it is so hard to CANCEL a service at the bank?
    I'm sure if I wanted to give them more of my money for their "services" they would reply via email or in person in no time at all.

    But I'm not a banker. Maybe they are subject to a stringent set of rules and procedures whereby services can only be rendered over the phone- a personal touch. (How many other businesses run primarily by transactions over the phone? I can only think of one...)


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